A great number of men fantasize secretly about rape; some as aggressors, and others as victims. We feel greatly confused by these fantasies. They make no sense to us on a conscious level, because no one wants to be truly harmed. However, in the symbolic world, to be forcefully “taken” by another might communicate a reassurance to one who believes he is profoundly unwanted. In fantasy, being forced might mean the opposite: that contrary to his fears, he is, indeed, so incredibly desired that another simply cannot help himself and will even employ force if necessary in order to have him.
Thus, fantasy states both the problem and the solution to our fears. We need to viscerally feel wanted. And perhaps in our daily lives, we have built up tremendous walls to others, unable to feel the want and potential for connection that is all around us. These walls may require a psychological force to come down. We carry the tools within us; we need only look deeply within ourselves and construct the lives that call us into greater expression.
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